Heart Tests

Some might call this torture, but it's a simple way for me to remind myself that I can, and do, move on.

I'll listen to a mix cd/playlist an ex made me, usually the one prior to the one that's hurting now. Or that I made for them. Or I'll listen to an ex's band. In this case, Andy's music, and the (really fucking awesome) mix cds he made for me. (Seriously, the guy was amazing at making a mix cd. Best I've ever gotten by a long shot, and the sort of mixes that you throw them on in mixed company and everyone loves them. Plus, the "love" mix he made me once, entitled "I'm Still Your Fag" after the Broken Social Scene song of the same name included on the disc, is quite possibly the best love mix ever made in the history of love mixes. So good I've made copies of it for other people who then mine it for their own mix cd making uses.) (And, notably, I don't listen to anything Thor related for this exercise; he didn't have a band, and he never made me a mix, and the mix I made him is something I play at work almost daily. The guy upset me so deeply in the moment and now it's just all okay.)

And sometimes, it still hurts, even on top of the current heart hurt. But most of the time, I feel nothing but enjoyment of the music.